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for context, i was recently informed by my orchestra teacher that i was "the top of my class."
thanks, mrs. r. sure doesn't fucking feel like it.
i worked my ass off to get here and i still feel below average.
i took every word of advice and it still feels like nothing has changed.
my fingers are bruised and and yet i feel as if i shouldn't stop until they're bleeding as well.
what am i doing with my life.